just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
