there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
