I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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