I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
