If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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