What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
