hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
