Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize