So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
