My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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