is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
it's like heaven, but drunker
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
