i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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