That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
