omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
