I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
