go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I think i got beer on your cat.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
