I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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