i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
