That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
