I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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