he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
