What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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