she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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