after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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