so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
