You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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