we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
