Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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