There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
