I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
two words...techno handjob
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
