So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize