my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize