I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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