apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
