i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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