As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
