Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
