I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
