I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
