I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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