YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
