sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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