About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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