I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
