Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
