ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
