he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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