Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize