...so i touched it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
two words...techno handjob
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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