It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
What changed your mind?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?