he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
