I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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