The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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