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WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
