I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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