Having a random hookup so left but love u
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
