I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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