I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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