If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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