Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
