would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
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there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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