It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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