i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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