dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
