I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
